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Joke of the Day

"Why are hurricane names female because they are destructive until you go inssiiiddee.... came up with this while i was on the water"

"If you guys need me I'll be strutting confidently through a parking lot toward a car that turns out not to be mine."

"[meeting to name the brownie] ""How about baked chocolate cake?"" ""Nah"" ""Yummy choccy bake?"" ""No"" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea..."

"Q: What did the sink say to the water faucet? A: You're a real drip."

"Me:Everything you know about me is a lie.Coworker:So you didnt dance naked in the fountain at the mall?Me: Everything other than that."

"I spent this past weekend baby-proofing my house... I'm not having a baby, but I hung up a bunch of anime posters to make sure that I never do."

"Do the followers in England read my tweets in an English accent? Because I write them in a Jamaican accent..so that must be weird..mon"

"Country Music Album My friends don't seem to be enjoying my attempt at a Country Music album. It bothers them that the song about Germany runs straight into the song about Poland."

"One of the most popular searches on pornhub is Minecraft porn I tried searching for that once. Unfortunately, it was blocked."

"We put a man on the moon yet we still keep using the same dated scientific progress analogy."