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Joke of the Day
"What's black and sits in the back of a cop car? The seat"
Next Joke
"Grammar Nazis have typo negative blood."
"I read all tweets with poor grammar and word choice in a Cookie Monster voice."
"Who him? Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS."
"It's a 10 minute walk from my house to the bar. It is a 2 hour walk from the bar back to my house. It's so weird."
"""Ok, so you love kids and a clean house? Really, you don't drink but you like to drive?"" Me, interviewing the perfect sister wife"
"My coworkers and I pitched in to buy Greece as a retirement gift for the boss.. We decided it was better than a $50 Applebee's gift card."
"This morning I made my coffee with an energy drink instead of water. Fifteen minutes on the highway later I realized I forgot my car in the garage."
"What do you call a pepper in late autumn? A little chili"
"Wow thank you so much for whistling at me, guy in Walmart. I've never felt more beautiful."