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Joke of the Day

"What's black and sits in the back of a cop car? The seat"

"If you don't like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car."

"Bill:""My homework is really difficult tonight I've to write an essay on an elephant.""? Bert:""Well for a start your going to need a big ladder.."""

"What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by? Pull down his pants."

"Before you get all smug about ""science"" ask yourself why no microwave can penetrate the heart of a lasagna."

"[First date] So what do you do for a living? ""I'm a florist"" WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE FLOOR? WHAT HAS IT DONE TO YOU, IS IT BECAUSE IT'S LAVA?"

"Did you guys read the book about the midget that hung himself with a belt? I heard it was top notch"

"what's wrong son? that kid said he's cooler than me what? impossible. what kid? *in my head im like don't be the kid with pegs on his bike*"

"When does one play a corny game? You play it by ear."

"Did you hear about the 'Flock of Seagulls' fan who shot himself? [OC] Apparently the gun had a hair trigger."