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Joke of the Day

"It's always I before E Except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor."

"I will not be giving shelter to any men in my bunker after the apocalypse only women, and there is a dress code.... #Doomsday2012"

"Were PacMan and Ms.PacMan married or brother and sister? Have some fanfic that's either really awesome or really disturbing riding on this."

"Astronaut: wtf is this NASA: it's space food A: I specifically asked for only Milky Way bars N: look we get it but- A: no no I'm coming down"

"If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building which would jump off first? The quarter because it has less sense (cents)."

"Doing a suicide attack is... ...a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

"What is blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"

"Tim Howard has been America's best goalkeeper since Sylvester Stallone in 1945."

"Why did princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"Have you seen www.quicksand.com? Yes but it hasn't sunk in yet."