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Joke of the Day

"If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building which would jump off first? The quarter because it has less sense (cents)."

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"Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say ""DRY"" on the butt?"
"What is the witches motto ? We came we saw we conjured !"
"I studied abroad for a year. But she got really creeped out and moved away."
"Spent over an Hour at the wife's grave this Morning Bless her, She thinks I'm Digging a Pond."
"Every time my friend plays with his xbox... She is left thinking that they are getting back together."
"Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents."
"Average people are mean ."
"*pushes math homework away in 1990* I'll never need this *getting yelled at by subway customer in 2014* I WANT THE BREAD CUT LIKE A RHOMBUS"
"""That damn Lassie said Timmy fell down a ruffruffruff"" ""Relax, honey. I'm sure she means well"""