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Joke of the Day

"If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building which would jump off first? The quarter because it has less sense (cents)."

"I once lived with a Canadian family for a year... They didn't want me to, but were too polite to ask me to leave!"

"How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest."

"At the rate I'm throwing shit out as I pack to move there's a strong possibility not all the kids will make it to the new house"

"Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day"

"welcome to fireman school. raise ur hand if you thought this was firefighter school *all hands raise* wrong *lights self on fire* FIREMAN"

"The two things to remember when ur a pothead 1)U lose short term memory 2) Damn! I know there's something else"

"Horton hears a who Horton hears a what Horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady Horton is listening to Eminem"

"No thanks farting robot on the wall I'll use the paper towels to dry my hands nice try though"

"What did the mayor of dinosaur town say when crime increased by 50%? This calls for Jurastic changes"