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Joke of the Day

"[At the Rumble] her *aggressively taking off earrings and heels* me *desperately trying to find somewhere to set down my ice cream cone*"

"What do you call a French cow that grows sprouts instead of fur? Chia LaBeouf"

"When you get a bladder infection urine trouble."

"It's so awkward getting a boner during a prostate exam. Especially when they realize you're not a doctor."

"They asked me if I was into minors... I said, ""Bro, hell no. That coal gets messy."""

"Racist comments... Just like grandma used to make"

"Bad news: none of the fireworks at the Trump rally misfired and killed me!"

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? Yes? How'd you get their little legs apart? (Courtesy of my dad. Who laughed about this for 30 minutes.)"

"I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts.... she gave me change!"

"70% of all university students identify themselves as procrastinators. .. The other 30% haven't gotten round to it yet."