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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a French cow that grows sprouts instead of fur? Chia LaBeouf"

"What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards? He keeps coming and coming and coming..."

"Women say it's unfair that men get more attractive as we get older. It's usually because we hit bottom really hard and bounce back up."

"I just pissed like a horse. Not an easy stance, let me tell you."

"What do Scrooge McDuck and dragons have in common? They love to swim in gold coins."

"I was going to make one of those Bitstrips cartoons, but then I decided to pick the lint out of my belly button instead. I'm pretty sure I came out ahead"

"""Congrats Lobster Boy, u got the job"" [Lobster Boy goes in for the handshake but cuts his employer's hand clean off]"

"What do you call your whore mother? NASS"

"Father, pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve, acquit, forgive me, for I have synonymed."

"Two cops knocked on my door Me: What do you want? Cops: We just want to talk. Me: How many of you are out there? Cops: There's two of us. Me: So why don't you talk with each other?"