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Joke of the Day

"They say there is a murderer in every group I thought it's jack, so i killed him before he could harm somebody."

"What is the best way to determine if someone is ticklish? Give them a ""test tickle."""

"Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans."

"Robin Hood and Little John walking through the forest... Have fun getting that song out of your head."

"Doctor told me I'm getting overweight Crap I thought eating disorder was bad enough!"

"If I ever commit suicide, I wanna jump off a cliff w/an open umbrella so people wonder if I thought it would bring me safely to the ground."

"Don't try to squeeze love out of them, sweetie. They're people, not oranges."

"When I was 8 yrs old, I walked to school by myself; now you have to hold your kid's hand right up to their first drug deal."

"There are reports that Kim Jon Un doesn't have a butthole That's because all of his shit comes out of his mouth"

"[parole hearing] OFFICER: are u reformed? ME: I O: go on M: I th O: tell us M: I'm O: yes M: can I finish my sentence O: ok parole denied"