21209

Joke of the Day

"Someone called me lazy today... I almost replied."

"I just read an article about a woman who killed her husband, boiled his body, and turned it into homemade jelly she kept in her pantry! It was really jarring."

"Why did Bill Cosby make his own Jell-O? Because his girlfriend was in a Roofie induced coma."

"Protip: If you're bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say ""isn't that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?"""

"Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference"

"If I ever meet someone who's been in a coma since 2004, I'm trying to sell them a USB drive for $150."

"I'm in love with you and you don't want anything to do with me so I think we can make this work"

"Q. What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles? A. Electricity."

"My first dad joke So, early this morning my wife got up and questioned me after I got up early with our son and fed him. Her: Did you get our son sick? Me: Nope, I got him cereal."

"When I was in jail I was asked by one of the rather large inmates, ""you wana be the poppa or the momma?"" I responded with ""Poppa""..... ""then get over here and suck mommas dick"""