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Joke of the Day

"I'll never be able to clean my house faster than when someone texts saying they're coming over."

"I'm trying to switch from ""okay"" to ""OK"" but I can't figure out what to do with all this extra time on my hands"

"You're so fake... Even China denied they made you"

"Slept with my internet date... Got a virus"

"Why did the owl 'owl? Because the woodpecker would peck 'er."

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face."

"CEO of KFC: ""We must always respect our customers. That is so important."" Ian: ""Shall we still serve them food in a bucket?"" CEO: ""Yes."""

"What do you get when you cross France and Britain? Canada."

"Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? A: Down in the mouth!"

"People think it's okay to drive like assholes until we end up at a stoplight together and I'm dropping my rottweiler through their sunroof."