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Joke of the Day

"I showed up to my girlfriend's house. She said, ""Why, don't you look nice!?"" I said, ""Thanks."" ""It wasn't a compliment."" she added."

"Come forth. And the Lord said unto John, come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"What do you call a fish without an eye? A Fsh"

"Yo mama's so old... Her age has to be expressed in scientific notation!"

"STOP TEXTING ME. IF I EVER PLANNED ON TALKING TO YOU AGAIN I WOULDN'T HAVE BORROWED ALL THAT MONEY."

"I'm the guy in the meeting giving coworkers the throat slash motion when the boss says ""Anybody have anything else 2 add before we adjourn?"""

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, but he has a 12 inch cock? Partially handicapped."

"Why is 1 disapproving of 6? That one doesn't believe in six before marriage."

"Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book? They all have phones."

"One More Hilarious Vampire Joke ...actually it sucks."