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Joke of the Day

"I showed up to my girlfriend's house. She said, ""Why, don't you look nice!?"" I said, ""Thanks."" ""It wasn't a compliment."" she added."

"Where do otters come from? Otter Space!"

"My friend called me conceited the other day. That can't be true, though. Being conceited is a fault, and I don't have any."

"Why aren't Japanese optimistic? Because not every cloud has a silver lining"

"A lady goes into the dry cleaners Lady: ""I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"" The Clerk: ""Come again?"" Lady: ""No, this time it's just yogurt"""

"When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency? When the chips are down!"

"My nephew asked, ""What's the secret to a long life?"" I said, ""Never order vegetarian in Texas"""

"How did Moses make his tea? Hebrews it"

"What does no one want but will always take Refugees"

"AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Oops, wrong sub."