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Joke of the Day

"What does no one want but will always take Refugees"

"CRIMINAL: You can't arrest me if you can't see me. BABY COP: God damn, I wish I understood the concept of object permanence."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer."

"How do you know if someone is a vegetarian? Don't worry, they will let you know as soon as they can"

"So I blew positive for alcohol today and got arrested... Positive is my neighbor's dog's name"

"Studies suggest when it comes to dealing with stress, masturbation is twice as effective as sex So one in the hand really is worth two in the bush."

"Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.? Because Michael Douglas starred in ""Double Jeopardy"" in 1999."

"[NSFW] where's the best place to have sex? In an Apple orchard, you always get to cum in cider."

"My wife said she has had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up... So I just packed my bags and right..."

"[Walks up to stranger] Me: ""Excuse me, would you take my picture?"" Him: ""Sure."" Me: ""Great!"" [I hand him a beautiful 5x7 portrait of me]"