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Joke of the Day

"If you're a comedian named Luke and your 1st album isn't named Luke Who's Talking, I don't even know why you got into this game at all."

"I got into an accident a few days ago. The doctor said the bleeding was all internal. I said ""oh, thank god."" The doctor said ""why are you so happy?"" I said ""that's where the blood is supposed to be!"""

"How do you catch a digital fish Online"

"If the Alibaba IPO crashes... Dibs on the term ""Ali-bubble"""

"I had a rough childhood. I couldn't play with toys that required supervision I only had regular vision"

"Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons? They outgrew their leotards."

"I'm pretty sure if Flo from Progressive and Jake from State Farm hooked up, the universe would explode."

"that sinking feeling... when you're on the Titanic"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They already did it before it was cool."

"The Past, The Present, and The Future all went camping... How? They all stayed in seperate tents!"