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Joke of the Day

"[at restaurant] -sees baby screaming in high chair -walks over & picks baby up -walks outside & puts baby down ""You're free,"" I whisper."

"Why do you never play uno with a mexican? Because they will steal all the green cards."

"Irony. The opposite of wrinkly."

"We can't afford a Trump presidency. The money spent alone on hundreds of new White House door knobs for his wee-baby hands would bankrupt us"

"""I don't want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to decipher about how it's your fault."" ~ girls"

"If eye-rolling burned calories, women would never have to diet."

"[OC]What do you call a shrunken walrus? A smallrus."

"Hello from the other side Bye."

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first."

"A woman gave birth to triplets. She named them Tim, Tom, and Tat. Unfortunately at feeding time there was no tit for Tat."