194631

Joke of the Day

"""I don't want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to decipher about how it's your fault."" ~ girls"

"Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken."

"I never pay for drinks I just insult women at bars & when they throw drinks in my face I open my mouth haha thanks for the free booze ladies"

"At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, ""This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."""

"[Tim Burton tries baseball] COACH [rubs eyes]Got it now T: Yes C: Ok. Pitch T: A dark haunted tale starring Johnny De- C: I'm gonna kill him"

"Advertisement for a crane company... Advertisement for a crane company: Call us, and we'll hook you up!"

"I'm telling you to go to hell because I'm poor. If I was rich I would kill you."

"Why didn't Hitler drink whisky? Because when he drank whisky, he got *mean*."

"""Who am I kidding?"" - blind comedians"

"One night a woman undressed in front of her husband... ""what turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?"" Asked the wife The husband looked her up an down an said, ""your sense of humor."""