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Joke of the Day

"I remember when I stayed with my girlfriend and her parents for the first time, and her dad wouldnt let us sleep together Which is a shame, because he's quite attractive"

"""Ma'am, please stow your laptop prior to takeoff."" ""This is my Emotional Support Computer."""

"What is a Muslim baby's first word? ""Revenge!"""

"How'd you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake.."

"I tried looking for cover versions of Milli Vanilli songs but it turned out that they weren't the original ones."

"Almost touched an old person tonight. Luckily I jerked my arm away before they could drain me of my youth and vigor."

"Hell is filled with news anchors tapping stacks of papers on desks and engaging in lighthearted end-of-broadcast banter."

"I went outside once.... The graphics were great! But the storyline sucked!!!!!"

"Flying around shitting on cars. Rock on, birds. Livin' the dream!"

"Miley Cyrus was recently found dead at a construction site. Her autopsy revealed her death came in like a wrecking ball."