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Joke of the Day

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says ""Hey did you see Donald Trump talking about his dick on tv last night? Can you believe that fucking guy might be president?"""

Next Joke
 
"'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop."
"My fitness instructor asked me how flexible I was... So I told him I can't do Tuesdays or Thursdays."
"I just Googled ""Living with Glaucoma"" before realising it was just a fingerprint smudge on my glasses."
"When driving: *shakes fist at pedestrians* When walking: *shakes fist at motorists* When running: *shakes fist at the murderer chasing me*"
"I recently switched to an all Middle Eastern diet and can't say I recommend it I falafel."
"...it's like what the mussel said to the clam... ""I wouldn't wish that on an anemone!"""
"Whats the stupidest animal in the Jungle? the Polar Bear"
"[couple tossing baby back and forth] [music stops] judge: custody granted dad: [holding baby] AW DAMMIT"
"So is Walmart a verb now? As in, ""I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."""