83389

Joke of the Day

"My sickening birdwatching experience. I must be ill - I thought I saw a sausage fly past my window, but it was actually a seabird. I think I've taken a tern for the wurst."

"Why did the idiot stare at a carton of orange juice? It said 'concentrate' on it"

"Why are the reddit servers down so much? Because they're being beaten like a dead horse."

"Why do they call it PMSing? Mad Cow disease was already taken."

"[High school reunion] Classmate: I've been out building schools in Africa Me: I got banned from the zoo for gluing sideburns onto a dolphin"

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club I was confused, I'd never met herbivore"

"Facing charges for attacking a man on New Years Eve.. Well, excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten."

"It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. ""Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."""

"Boy: Do you like parties? Girl: Yes, why? Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"

"I didn't fall for you, you f*cking tripped me"