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Joke of the Day
"Decks. Because I like to be outdoors, but not like all on the ground and shit."
Next Joke
"just saw a political argument on twitter that ended with everyone deciding that they disagreed but respected each other's opinions lol jk"
"When I see babies who breastfeed crying I know it's because they don't have Oreos to go with the milk."
"It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians."
"The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes."
"I just love blind prostitutes.... I mean, you've gotta hand it to them."
"What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? I just passed your friend in the woods."
"They say: Dance like there's nobody watching, sing like there's nobody listening. But non of them are there to vouch for you when you end up in an insane asylum."
"I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."
"With inflation, it would be Mambo No. 6.59 in 2013"