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Joke of the Day
"There are two reasons I would never drink from a toilet Number 1, and number 2"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend just found out I've been sleeping with a barmaid I just hope that none of this gets back to my wife!"
"*at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!"
"What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals? The Dark Knightrogen"
"Gay people, man. They're confused... ...and not thinking straight"
"A man can survive up to two weeks without water, around forty days without food, and about one hour without touching his junk."
"According to these Father's Day gift sections, all dads are clean shaven business men that love playing golf and think they're #1."
"My foot wants to interact with your face. "
"Me: ""Can I see the baby?"" Sister: ""Yes, but only if she's awake."" Me, through a megaphone: ""NOT A PROBLEM."""
"Why don't Mexicans blow their noses? So that they have something to pick in the off-season."