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Joke of the Day

"If Donald Trump becomes President, The rest of us should be able to just walk into any hospital & start working as doctors"

"Sex is like putting money in the bank.... When you take it out, the interest is all gone."

"Reporter: are you nervous about the fight? Me nervously: no Reporter: he said he's going to 'rip your heart out' Me crying: but I need it"

"<enter password> ikilledaman <password must contain a number> *7 hours later* ikilled2men"

"Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush? The Naked Ape!"

"OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog."

"Just once I'd like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, ""Sure, what Volume would you like?"""

"Precious Father-Son Time When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom...they were all just pictures of me."

"Good marriage requires communication: My wife tells me I'm wrong, and I tell her she's right."