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Joke of the Day

"What would you call Hitler if he had a child? A DILF"

"I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there's no fucking money in there."

"You know, I really liked the rule of Nero. Rome was pretty lit at the time."

"Holiday Tip: if you boil a turd on low heat the whole house smells like farts."

"So Paul Walker has died.... Bringing to an end the Fast and Furious Saga - they have however, introduced a new series - The Slow and Decomposing too soon?"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee Strong and from Cuba"

"I asked my girlfriend to buy me some Japanese food. ... sushi did."

"Symphony of puns i never let my kids listen to jazz or classical music... Too much sax or violins can only lead to treble!"

"Not saying I'm desperate enough for a mail order bride, but did just check to see how much FedEx charges for 125 pounds from Krasnoyarsk."

"Why do elephants have big flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."