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Joke of the Day

"If you wake up on Christmas morning with a bad taste in your mouth Remember, Santa only comes around once a year to empty his sack."

Next Joke
 
"WIFE: Please take the trash out ME: Ok *later that night* ME: I'm having a nice time TRASH: Wow, the food here is spicy AF"
"#MyRoommateIsWeird she keeps having babies and making me take care of them. She also insists I call her 'Wife'"
"What is worse than a dude shooting cum on your floor? A dude farting cum on your floor."
"How did the Ethiopian escape prison? He squeezed through the bars."
"At the library: Librarian: you have 45 cents in late fees. Me: (adjusts bow tie then slides 50 cents across the table) Keep the change"
"I can give you the reason for anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."
"Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I've eaten 107 push-up pops."
"My hair is beautiful.* *Conditioner applied."
"Got run over by a limo today Took fucking ages"
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