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Joke of the Day

"#MyRoommateIsWeird she keeps having babies and making me take care of them. She also insists I call her 'Wife'"

"You think God hates crosses? If my kid died on a roller coaster, then everyone started wearing roller coaster necklaces, I'd be pissed."

"Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her."

"What prophylactic did the black person rip open while having sex? The doctor's vaginer."

"Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking."

"Chuck Norris is so awesome... He counted to infinity, twice."

"Where is Donald Trump gonna put all of the illegal immigrants once he arrests them? Juantanamo"

"My friend hasn't spoken to me since I accused him of stealing some wooden panels. I think he took a fence."

"When I leave a plane, I tighten the belts before I leave so that whoever sits there next will think ""wow, whoever sat here was very thin""."

"Why did the man wear a frog for a condom? So he was ribbit for her pleasure."