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Joke of the Day

"An American guy ends up in the hospital with an Australian doctor Feeling very weak and dizzy, the patient asked: -Did I come here to die? -No, you came here yesterday."

"""Ugh! Dave is coming to dinner"" ""Wait, Dave Jones or Dave who impersonates police cars?"" [long silence] [hears faint sirens in the distance]"

"Go to JebBush.com He lost his domain and Donald Trump bought it."

"Super Mario is so unrealistic. No brother would ever help find his missing sister in law."

"The Past, the Present, and the Future All Walk Into A Bar . . . . . . it was tense."

"My eyes are puffy and watery. People at work are going to think I've been crying. That should squash the rumors that I'm a heartless bitch."

"For me, eating fast food is like going out on a date and finding out the person you're with is racist. Either way, you're going to end up alone in your apartment using up all the toilet paper."

"Mommy, why am I getting my Christmas presents in august? ""Because it's cheaper than chemo"""

"My wife said her new addiction is goji berries but I'd prefer she get addicted to something cheaper like cocaine."

"Once Upon a Time Is a brilliant series"