201840

Joke of the Day

"My wife said her new addiction is goji berries but I'd prefer she get addicted to something cheaper like cocaine."

"TIL Albert Einstein married his cousin. That's how he discovered the theory of relativity"

"Atheism... ... is a non-prophet organization."

"If you whisper, ""we're being watched,"" you can hug a stranger for as long as you want. My record is 13 days."

"LPT: Always know what subreddit you are posting in"

"Asked a Target employee if I could open this camera before I buy it and he said he wouldn't even care if I killed someone in front of him."

"Justin Bieber said to be just devastated to hear the news on the Boston marathon . . . . . .but hopes that everyone involved are fans."

"Do you want to hear a bad joke? *my life* Sorry if that was not likeable and miserable, *just like my face* Okay, I am going to stop before it gets too dark and too empty, *just like my soul.*"

"What kind of meat do priests eat on good Friday? Nun."

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out"