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Joke of the Day

"Once Upon a Time Is a brilliant series"

"I changed my password to ""incorrect"" So when I forget it my computer will tell me ""your password is incorrect"""

"What is a terrorists favourite dessert? Ice is"

"""What are you doing here?"" I just got fired from the circus ""Oh my"" Yeah, the calibration on my cannon was way off. I landed in your pond"

"If there's a pistachio that's difficult to open, I'll just move right on to another because life is short and so is my god damn temper"

"Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!"

"What do you call a dinosaur from the Middle East? An Iran-asaurus!"

"Who knew 20yrs after Debate class I'd apply those skills to present arguments to 7yo on why pasta shapes don't change the taste of pasta."

"I was invited to a party... The dress code said ""black tie only"". But when I got there, I noticed other people had worn shirts and trousers too"

"""Here, drink this."" - Me speed dating."