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Joke of the Day

"J. S. Bach's wife found herself in a predicament when her sexy underwear caught fire. Johann was quick to respond to her duress and blew air on the g-string."

"What happens when you put your grandma on speedial? You get Insta-Gram"

"I changed my Ipod's name to Titanic Its Syncing"

"""Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade."""

"Worst part of my old job was drug screenings. Had to tell a guy he was pregnant. Lesson: don't use your girlfriend's urine for testing."

"I remember a time when I didn't get nostalgic after a few drinks .. I miss those days."

"What's Rihanna's favorite love song? ""I can't feel my face when i'm with you"""

"I was at the beach and the lifeguard blew his whistle at me. Dude, I'm 40. I'm not listening to a teenager in a bathing suit."

"Why shouldn't you trust a midget? Because their head's close to their butt."

"Why should you always keep a firearm in the small room by your front door? Foyer protection"