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Joke of the Day

"""You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying."" *raises megaphone to lips* How so?"

"accidentally just walked halfway into a hug intended for someone else on the sidewalk maybe can't leave house ever again"

"What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider? Bacon and scrambled leggs."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuckup cunts"

"What do you call a missing shape? A polygone!"

"Most 00's kids won't get these... Decent jobs"

"TIFU by whipping the wrong person at the BDSM club. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Why was the table pissed at Jesus? Because he looked a little cross."

"How many Freuds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and another to hold the penis. ... ... ... Er... I mean... The ladder."

"How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. Bahaha."