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Joke of the Day

"How to ruin a helpful solution you gave to a friend that needed help. End with ""Your mom is actually really hot"""

"Teacher: Tommy Russell you're late again. Tommy: Sorry sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late. Teacher: Well if it's late again tomorrow catch an earlier one."

"My son and I play a game where he talks all day and I bang my head against a wall."

"Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet. Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around forehead*"

"Worm CEO cuts workforce in half, doubles productivity"

"The Mexican word of the day is ""Wheelchair"" For example, ""Hey mang, I see you don't have a lunch today so wheelchair mine."""

"Was gonna go to the gym but then I checked Twitter. In 2009"

"Why are fire trucks red? Because if someone pulled your hose you would be red too."

"What do zombies with dyslexia eat? Brians."

"Hi, I'm from the American Medical Association! AMA!"