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Joke of the Day

"Was gonna go to the gym but then I checked Twitter. In 2009"

"I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they'll open up a small demolition business together."

"How many germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nein"

"How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it ""yoga""?"

"What do you call a smelly Hobbit? Frodor."

"I joke but this Scotland thing is nuts. I mean...imagine if Canada ever tried to secede from the U.S."

"I saw an identical tweet of my joke! It was posted months before mine, so he's worse than a tweet thief; he's a time-travelling tweet thief!"

"Q: How does an elephant climb a tree? A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up."

"Why can't you bring an Indian to a fancy restaurant? Because they get the Buddha in the Gouda! ;D"

"Beating your wife isn't a joke It's a punchline."