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Joke of the Day

"Just hired a dirtying lady. About to watch her and my cleaning lady fight it out."

"Babe are you a new software update? Because not now."

"I am the best juggler in the world. But I don't have the balls to show it to you."

"What is metallic and if enters through your eye can kill you? A train"

"It's a good thing my new Thai girlfriend doesn't have an issue with small penises. I just wish she didnt have one."

"I bet college professors never get tired of watching freshmen get fat. I know I wouldn't."

"A brother and sister are having sex The sister tells her brother: You are better than dad. To which the brother replies: I know, mom told me."

"Interviewer: may we contact your previous employers? [cut to the giant grave in the desert where I buried them all] Me: lol you could try"

"What do you call a bee with a toe? ""Toby"""

"Breastfeeding in public. This hating of people that breastfeed in public should really stop. I can raise my cat any way I want to."