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Joke of the Day
"My uber driver asked me how my day was so I opened the door and quietly rolled into the road."
Next Joke
"""You should go with the black one"" I whispered from inside the clothes rack as she dropped both shirts and ran. FINE, GO WITH THE WHITE ONE"
"A dyslexic man.. Three men go to a bar, but only two walk in. One of them is dyslexic, he walked into a bra."
"I lost my watch at a party once Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch."
"An Irishman walks... out of a bar."
"What's red and white and red, red and white and red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a roof!"
"Me: Excuse me sir, what's your Wi-Fi password? Him: *[Leans in] *[Whispers angrily] THIS IS A FUNERAL Me: *[Types in] THIS IS A FUNERAL"
"How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway."
"What do lawyers wear to court? Law suits"
"Guess who won't be winning world cup this year? Brazil."