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Joke of the Day

"A dyslexic man.. Three men go to a bar, but only two walk in. One of them is dyslexic, he walked into a bra."

"Why is imgur down? It was over *cat*pacity."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chickpea? I've never paid 50 bucks to have a garbanzo on my face."

"My wife called me a child. I told her, be careful who you're calling a child because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert."

"Girl: Gonna keep having sex with this guy until he changes for me Guy: Can't believe she keeps having sex w/me I better not change a thing"

"A late night booty call woke me from a deep sleep... that damn cricket better have got some!"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino (Hell-if-I-know)"

"I have great muscle memory I totally remember when I was in shape."

"Q: What's green and sings? A: Elvis Parsley."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two, but its kinda hard to get em in there."