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Joke of the Day

"When I first met my wife I asked her if she smokes after sex She got quiet for a second then said,"" I don't know, I've never checked ""."

"I patented a new bullet that will kill 2 deer at once You get more buck for your bang!"

"What is a pigs favorite type of acrobatics? Porkour"

"Popeye was a lonely sailor. No wonder he had such big forearms."

"a friend told me how electricity was measured and i was like watt"

"Before. b-e-f-o-r-e, not B4. We speak English, Not bingo..."

"How many dull people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

"[First day of prison] ""Hey man. Wanna be in our gang?"" Sure, I'll call you. Just give me your cell number *gets stabbed*"

"Knock knock.... Whose there? Jesus Jesus who? Behold I stand at the door and knock...."

"Roses are Red Roses are red I'm feeling elated I'm doing Gisele My balls are deflated"