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Joke of the Day

"When I first met my wife I asked her if she smokes after sex She got quiet for a second then said,"" I don't know, I've never checked ""."

"I had anal sex and my sperm were so confused They tried to fertilize a piece of corn."

"What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde ? A jet setter !"

"When toddlers get naked and run around giggling, it's ""cute"" and ""funny"" ...but when I do it, I'm ""drunk"" and ""not allowed back in Target"""

"Why did George Lucas Cross The Road? To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80."

"The leading cause of death in 1926 was being hit by a spinning newspaper graphic"

"What do you call a bear that will fuck anything? Bi Polar"

"I was asked today why I thought Kim Kardashian & Kanye West would break up. I replied ""dunno, but they're BOUND 2 EVENTUALLY"" I hate myself."

"Back in my day we used to only have chalkboards. The new whiteboards they use are Remarkable"

"TIL that condoms have serial numbers. What? Have you never rolled them down that far?"