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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bulimic tree? Sycamore."

"Solitary Theoretical Physicist Proves Solipsistic Reality... Unfortunately, he won't publish his research because he doesn't trust peer review."

"I have half a mind to get another lobotomy."

"How do you get over a fear of elevators? Just take some steps to avoid them!"

"Blizzards are like sex it's really fun while it's happening but afterwards there's a lot of white stuff laying around that no one knows what to do with"

"Where's Finnick? Odair he is! Obligatory: My brother told this to me while watching Mockingjay P2."

"Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is my favourite book about a weird guy who murders four children then convinces another to live with him."

"Did you know that Helen Keller lived in a huge mansion? Neither did she"

"your mom is so stupid... She put gum up her ass so she can pop shit. A very old joke that for some reason makes me giggle every time..."

"CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them"