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Joke of the Day

"Solitary Theoretical Physicist Proves Solipsistic Reality... Unfortunately, he won't publish his research because he doesn't trust peer review."

"I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don't know anything about cars, but I do know how porn starts off"

"Schizophrenia I`m in two minds about it"

"person: what is your dog's name me: he won't say"

"Just said ""No you can't have an apple because you'll spoil the pizza that's being delivered very soon."" I shouldn't be allowed to parent."

"Eve says to Adam "" this salad is so good"" Adam says to Eve ""That's the basket with my dirty clothes"""

"What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog."

"There's plenty of fish in the sea(fixed) But until I find one I'm just stuck holding my rod"

"What did the sushi say to the bee? WASABI. Ah, best lame joke ever."

"Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off."