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Joke of the Day
"Student: What is the chance we are alone in the universe? Professor: Astronomical."
Next Joke
"I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. But i realised a sit-down comedian was more comfortable."
"How do you piss off thousands of people on the internet all at once? [deleted]"
"Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A. Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me!"
"Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow'den."
"What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle? ""Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise."""
"Why do cats make better medical technicians than dogs? Because dogs can't operate MRI machines, but catscan."
"How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Five. One."
"I asked God whether or not to open a brothel He replied ""build it and they will come""."
"If a red man lives in a red house, a blue man lives in a blue house..... a green man lives in a green house. Then who lives in the white house? A black man"