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Joke of the Day

"Just give me a sec. I'm still waiting for IE8 to open a new tab. A blank tab. Waiting... Still waiting... There it is."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? Becomes he only CUMS once a year"

"What's the only way a Trumpie can get hard? Freezing to death."

"I always say no to drugs... But they never listen."

"My girlfriend stopped being my toaster strudel today... Now that she's on birth control, she became my twinkie!"

"A Kiss can make my whole day... But anal could make my hole weak"

"My doctor said I have hemorrhoids... but I think he is wrong: everybody says I am a perfect asshole!"

"What do you call a really expensive tombstone? A R.I.P off."

"What does a pirate take for his allergies? Aye-drops"

"Top Five Accountant Taboos: 5. Unreconciled difference 4. Doesn't foot & crossfoot 3. No journal entry support 2. Cooking the books 1. Sex"