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Joke of the Day
"What are you if you hide eggs at nice places eggspert."
Next Joke
"In the 1945-6 Nuremberg Trials what should have been the opening statement from the defence counsel representing the Nazi War criminals? 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'"
"What do you get when you mix two chains and a cow? Truuuuuuuuuuu-moooooooooooooooooo!!!"
"I liked you better before we met."
"What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute? [in]solvent"
"Amazing statistic. The new U2 album is the most deleted record in history."
"J.R.R. Tolkien's full name is Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien."
"I'm a homeless romantic"
"The year is 2072. Numbers have lost all meaning. It could be 3247 for all they know. ""It's 5486,"" says one guy, but it could've been 8 guys."
"My mom's late for everything, and it irritates the hell out of me. For example, last week she drove me to an abortion clinic."