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Joke of the Day

"a disability, a curse word and a radical interpretation of scripture walk into a bar nothing happened welcome to /r/cleanjokes"

"Why can't gay people drive while they're aroused? Because they can't think straight."

"""Ben Carson makes stuff up"" said Donald Trump, self-proclaimed zillionaire, demigod and unicorn owner."

"""Dad, we need to talk."" ""Alright."" He grabs a chair and sits. ""Dad, you-"" He grabs yet another chair. ""DAMMIT DAD YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CHAIRS"""

"My dating life."

"Some women wear larger shirts to make their bodies feel smaller... I wear smaller condoms to make my penis feel larger"

"Bless me, Father, for I have used Comic Sans. It's been eight weeks since my last use of Helvetica."

"Did you know 94% of Fords are still on the road? The other 6% made it home."

"It was a rude awakening when I woke up and realized all my favorite porn stars were at least 4 years younger than me. Turning 16 sucked. =/"

"A young boy got expelled for the using the C word in class The principal asked him ""That wasn't clever, was it?"" The boy replied "" No, it was cunt"""