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Joke of the Day

"A young boy got expelled for the using the C word in class The principal asked him ""That wasn't clever, was it?"" The boy replied "" No, it was cunt"""

"50 years from now...""Remember that time we were fighting the riot police and the National Guard ..."" ""...and your mommy shows up and kicks your ASS?"""

"A deer stumbles out of the forest and says ""that's the last time I do that for two bucks."""

"I've developed a phobia of elevators I'm taking steps to avoid them."

"Why was the tree soooo happy? Because he didn't arbor any feelings!"

"You ever do one single chore and then ride that high for 10 years"

"What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician? With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed..."

"What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico? The Juan percent."

"""Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome."" - Pew Pew Pew Research Center"

"My dick was once in the Guinness Book of Records. World's smallest dick."