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Joke of the Day

"Just used shampoo so fortifying that a giant brick wall manifested around me in the shower & I guess this is my home now."

"Why do people nickname Cersei's kids after sandwich meats? Because they're both in bread"

"Adult Trick-or-Treating: Walk around ringing doorbells & everyone gives out a shot of booze or a bong rip to each other. Make it happen."

"It's funny how your tweets are funnier now that I know you're hot. -everyone on Twitter"

"Why don't you take a shower with a Pokemon? He might Peek at Chu!"

"Boxed In There was a young girl from Peru Who filled her vagina with glue. She said with a grin, ""If they pay to get in, They'll pay to get out of it, too."""

"Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans."

"why girls prefer iphones.... because they are use to its type of Aspect ratio :D"

"Got a white noise app to help me sleep but its just a recording of guys talking about golf, Dockers, Whole Foods, & the new Coldplay album.."

"What do you call a deep thinking pastry chef? A filosopher."