81996
Joke of the Day
"My wife's signature move is asking me a question then turning on the faucet when I answer."
Next Joke
"How do redneck Na'vi get their skin tone? Blue Genes... I'll be here all week"
"Tip: Instead of doing that thing where you obviously crop your ex out of the photo, you could actually just take a new picture."
"What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico? They wash themselves."
"Why the population in India is exploding these days? Because everyone over there is doing IT!"
"Do headphones just tie themselves in knots while we're not looking?"
"Did you hear about the time traveler who finished his plate? He went back four seconds."
"I'm at my most Mexican when I'm chatting about a movie and I suddenly pronounce Antonio Banderas like a Telemundo newscaster."
"I went to specsavers the other day.. ...guess who I bumped into? Everyone!"
"Pro tip: If he pretends he can't hear you, talk some shit about his mother."