81991

Joke of the Day

"if you ask a veteran if they've killed anyone and they say they don't like to talk about it, that means no"

"If she asks you to be in an open relationship, tell her to walk out that open door. She's a slut."

"How is having a new dishwasher at a kitchen job like being in the Matrix? There is no spoon."

"Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip? - A: To a mewseum."

"""My girlfriend? You wouldn't know her. She's a bit underground."" ...said the hipster necrophiliac."

"If I were a male porn star My name would be Jesus and right before each money shot I would say, ""Get on your knees and close your eyes. Jesus is coming soon."""

"A group of toddlers is called a migraine"

"So I heard Tiger Woods changed his name.. To Cheetah"

"An Eskimo was driving through new Zealand His car suddenly broke down after a small wait the mechanic told him ""aw shut bro you've blown a seal"" to which the Eskimo replies ""shut up you fuck sheep"""

"A woman walks into a bar. What makes you think she can drive any better?"