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Joke of the Day

"What do you say when your lesbian daughter brings home her girlfriend? ""Are you going to be staying for dinner or eating out?"""

"You should never trust a person as far as you can throw them. Needless to say, I trust the fuck out of babies."

"Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day!"

"What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? A Buffa-Loan!"

"Someone just filled me in about those small places in the hot, sandy desert called an ""Oasis."" ... That's where the Arab boys go to eat their dates."

"They named it Galaxy Note because when you take this thing out of your pocket, the entire Galaxy can note that it's been taken out."

"I saw two Asian guys backing up a UHaul truck to a Home Depot and it reminded me of a great thing about being white. I know someone with a pickup truck."

"Why does Seth Rogen laugh like he's being asphyxiated? Because even he knows he sucks."

"Who's the aardvark's favorite female vocalist? Bearbara Streis-ant!"

"Why can't astronauts eat popsicles? In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck."