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Joke of the Day

"They named it Galaxy Note because when you take this thing out of your pocket, the entire Galaxy can note that it's been taken out."

"Why do you wrap gophers in electrical tape? So they don't explode when you fuck 'em."

"These people are putting up 'Lost Parrot' signs for the sake of their kids, but you'd think they'd place them higher for other birds to see."

"So the other day I went into a local shop with a sign that read ""Therapist"" They should really put a larger space between the ""e"" and the ""r"""

"There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol has on walking... the result was staggering."

"Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then you'd have to call them bagels."

"I really think Miracle Whip lowered the bar for what constitutes a miracle."

"Went to a zoo that only had one dog It was a ShitZoo"

"A horse bolted and ran into Liverpool FC's training ground. The horse charged wildly at the team as they were in the middle of training. None of the players were hurt, but it clipped Klopp."

"If mental hospitals had walkways... They'd be called psychopaths."