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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a hooker fart? A prostitoooooot"

"My dentist is going to be so proud of me! I've been brushing my teeth like ten times a day since I started using Betty Crocker toothpaste."

"What car insurance do Canadians have? Triple 'eh'"

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? He really had loco-motives."

"Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub? I put soap and water in there every day..."

"[Me]: *slams fork & knife down on table* Not cool, babe. [Wife]: You didn't honestly think there'd be weed in your pot pie, did you?"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile ""That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old"", I told her."

"I was recently asked if I'd judge Mr. gay UK. I said ''It wouId be my pIeasure. It's against nature, against God, and he's going to heII.'' - Jimmy Carr"

"What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today? Clawing at the lid of the coffin."

"Florida mom delivers 14-pound baby after surprise pregnancy . Florida?? NO PART of this story surprises me."