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Joke of the Day

"Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub? I put soap and water in there every day..."

"[getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid ""Well which one is it?"""

"Buddy of mine asked what will happen if Trump got elected... I replied, ""There will be hell toupee"""

"I was offered a job building Egyptian tombs Turned out to be a pyramid scheme"

"Some folks just can't pull off a bow tie... ...and they choke to death."

"I hate when people ask what I see myself doing in 5 years How would I know, I don't have 2020 vision"

"Do you own a chicken farm? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock"

"I just removed all my German friends from my phone Now I have a Hans-free device"

"What's with people thinking white people shoot up schools? I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools."

"how did I escape iraq iran"