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Joke of the Day

"Did you know you can take a whole nap and wake up and football will still be on?"

"Tom Brady got punished more than Ray Rice because he beat a whole team"

"A guy says to a girl ""hey, can I smell your feet?"" She says ""NO!!"" ""Oh, it must be your pussy then."""

"Watching too much porn gave me unrealistic expectations of sex I really thought it would happen"

"My boyfriend broke up with because I make too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn't even matter."

"I wish I was poplar. No, that's not a typo. I wish I was a tree."

"Damn girl, you must be a moped Because I love riding you but I'd be extremely embarrassed if any of my friends saw me on you"

"I work as a Lie Detector for police interrogations. At least it's honest work."

"Did you know that after this next album, Matisyahu will be retiring? Soon he will be Jah-bless."

"Being single isn't always bad. Look at Kraft cheese for example."