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Joke of the Day

"Did you know you can take a whole nap and wake up and football will still be on?"

"How to have sex How do you get a gay man to have sex with a female? You fill her cunt up with shit."

"Whats a similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist? They both smell it, but they can't eat it."

"What did the potato ask the cow? Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes."

"What do you call a pig on a leash? Pulled Pork"

"Rick Astley will give you any of his pixar movies except one... His SAG preview copy of Inside Out. It would be unethical for him to share that copy while it's still in theaters."

"Which program do Jedis use to open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi."

"*finds all 7 dragonballs *dragon appears* ""WHAT IS YOUR WIS...OH GODDAMMIT CHAD, FOR THE LAST TIME I CANNOT MAKE PEOPLE RESPECT NICKELBACK"""

"So I met a Jewish girl at the bar last night... [NSFW] She asked me for my number so I wrote it on her arm. Haven't heard from her since..."

"I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging my snooze button in the morning."