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Joke of the Day

"If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then."

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"Imagine if Hannibal was a university professor I'd love to go to a Hannibal Lecture!"
"You know what's a weird Irish name? Patty O'furniture."
"A costumer just said to me that my daughter and I look like twins. And I was like, ""Well, we were separated at birth."""
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust."
"What do you give Sean Connery when hes eating nachos in a bathtub? Shower Cream"
"What's ten inches long, has a bright purple tip, and made my wife cry when I made her eat it after jamming it up her ass? Her stillbirth."
"What do you call a person who knows 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages? Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language? American."
"Que dijo un mar al otro? ola"
"[The Price is Right Wheel-O-Fate stops on the symbol] DREW: ooh that's 8 days in the hole CONTESTANT: what? [hole opens in the ground]"
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